Getting Married.

You know what happens when you find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with? What happens is that you want the ‘rest of your life’ to start right then.

That’s how we felt twenty-seven years ago, and that’s how we feel today. Over the course of our relationship, we’ve asked each other several times, "How do you feel about getting married?" And we always agreed that we’d do it when and if it was legal. No need for a big wedding or anything, but the validation and the legality of it would be nice. We never thought of it in terms of something that had any real possibility about it.

And then this happened:

Same-sex marriage in the U.S. state of New York became legal on July 24, 2011, under the Marriage Equality Act, which was passed by the New York State Legislature on June 24, 2011 and signed by Governor Andrew Cuomo on the same day. The Marriage Equality Act does not have a residency restriction, as some other states do, and allows religious organizations to decline to officiate same-sex wedding ceremonies.

As we planned to make our annual holiday trip to New York City this past year, we talked a little bit about the possibility of getting married. We did some internet research and thought it might be a real thing that might actually happen. Maybe. Never before had it even been in the realm of possibility. Still, we were skeptical. Some sources on the internet outlined the procedure(s), and some of them said that birth certificates and passports and lots of documentation was required. It seemed like a big maybe.

A few days before our scheduled departure, we looked at the website of the New York City clerk’s office. They had an online license application that you could fill out and then you would be assigned a number that you could present to the city clerk’s office when you arrived there. Still not sure that a wedding would happen, we did the necessary stuff and planned to try to do it.

We arrived in New York City on Sunday, December 25. The offices were closed, of course, on Christmas day, and for the Christmas holiday on the December 26, so we showed up on Tuesday morning, December 27, to see what would happen. On that day we were able to fill out some more paper work and pick up our printed license application. We were then told to wait twenty-four hours and come back with a witness. They would be able to marry us there at the city clerk’s office. At that point it seemed like reality. It was not until then that we allowed ourselves to really and truly plan on getting married the next day.

And that’s the reason we did not plan a wonderful wedding and invite a bunch of our cherished friends and sweet and loving family members and plan a reception and all of the great stuff that usually happens when someone says, "We’re getting married!" We were sure that we were spending our lives together; We just weren’t sure we would be able to get married.

As it turned out, we did get married, and we were surrounded by the love and support of some friends and family members. We felt special and loved and validated as we said, "I do." In attendance was a small group that we were traveling with from Texas, as well as a couple of friends in New York City, and Wayne’s brother Russel, his wife Laura, and John and Jenna Beers were there from Maryland (making their own annual trip to the city to hang out with us for a day or two).

We were married on December 28, 2011, in a small chapel at the New York City clerk’s office at 141 Worth, New York, New York. If things had been different, say if same sex marriage had been legal in Texas, there would have been a big, beautiful wedding years ago in San Antonio. Nieces and nephews would have been asked to be there and do readings. Talented friends would have offered to sing a favorite song or two. There would have been a great reception where we would have all danced to some of the best party music while a sweet, sentimental slide show was continuously playing in the background. Our hope is that someday in the not too distant future this will be a reality for other couples.


  1. ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!!!! It will be a reality someday because of your example and love!!!! Thank you for sharing!!! CHEERS TO YOU GUYS!!!! :)


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Beautiful Saturday In San Antonio

Her name is "Abcde."

A cup of coffee and a donut.