I haven't posted in a while. For the usual reason: I didn't really feel like I had anything to say. That's not to say that there hasn't been anything going on. There's been plenty going on, and maybe I'll gather my thoughts enough to write something about Cornyation sometime soon. Maybe I'll post a word or two about our fantastic vacation in Cancun. But lately I've been thinking about relationships.
The thought that keeps going around and around in my head is that each relationship is unique. Each relationship is defined by the people who are in that relationship. For that reason, I feel that it's not just unfair - it's impossible - for anybody outside of the situation to make any judgements about a relationship.
It's difficult sometimes when you observe a situation in which someone you care about seems to be on the receiving end of some sort of mental or emotional or physical abuse. But here's the thing: you or I have no way of knowing what's going on with those two (or three) people. We may hear someone's side of the story, and we may choose to believe that side of the story without giving consideration to the fact that there may be several versions, several points of view to consider.
A friend recently approached me to ask what I thought about the prospect of marriage - theirs, not mine. I did not feel qualified to offer advice, per se, but I did offer my opinion that getting married is something you do because you want to do it - not because your friends or family continue to ask, "When are you guys going to tie the knot?" What's right for one relationship may not be right for another, I told my friend. You have to do what is right for you.
In another scenario, someone I know recently ended their marriage. There's no way that anybody but that couple can know everything that led to the decision for the two of them to part ways. There. Is. Just. No. Way. I don't care what you (or anybody else) heard. It's not fair for you or me to say it was one person's (or the other person's) fault. Too often we hear judgements being shared as to what went wrong and who was to blame.
My advice to you, gentle reader, and to myself, is to be careful and thoughtful about how we respond in situations where relationships are called into question. Similarly, we might want to be a little more careful and thoughtful about what we share on social media. Asking friends to support the rantings of a scorned spouse may backfire once you've cooled down (or sobered up) from a particularly torrid weekend.
To make a long story very, very short: BE NICE.
The thought that keeps going around and around in my head is that each relationship is unique. Each relationship is defined by the people who are in that relationship. For that reason, I feel that it's not just unfair - it's impossible - for anybody outside of the situation to make any judgements about a relationship.
It's difficult sometimes when you observe a situation in which someone you care about seems to be on the receiving end of some sort of mental or emotional or physical abuse. But here's the thing: you or I have no way of knowing what's going on with those two (or three) people. We may hear someone's side of the story, and we may choose to believe that side of the story without giving consideration to the fact that there may be several versions, several points of view to consider.
A friend recently approached me to ask what I thought about the prospect of marriage - theirs, not mine. I did not feel qualified to offer advice, per se, but I did offer my opinion that getting married is something you do because you want to do it - not because your friends or family continue to ask, "When are you guys going to tie the knot?" What's right for one relationship may not be right for another, I told my friend. You have to do what is right for you.
In another scenario, someone I know recently ended their marriage. There's no way that anybody but that couple can know everything that led to the decision for the two of them to part ways. There. Is. Just. No. Way. I don't care what you (or anybody else) heard. It's not fair for you or me to say it was one person's (or the other person's) fault. Too often we hear judgements being shared as to what went wrong and who was to blame.
My advice to you, gentle reader, and to myself, is to be careful and thoughtful about how we respond in situations where relationships are called into question. Similarly, we might want to be a little more careful and thoughtful about what we share on social media. Asking friends to support the rantings of a scorned spouse may backfire once you've cooled down (or sobered up) from a particularly torrid weekend.
To make a long story very, very short: BE NICE.
Love you guys!
ReplyDelete